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hmmm just suddenly feel lyk posting. cos i dunno hu can i turn to? or can i just say tt no one i can turn to? i dunno either. ): yesterday ton, morning jsut got hm. n guess wat's the first thing tt i dream abt??? is a wonderful dream n yet my ah ma n her frens tok until so loud. lyk they are in singapore n her frens are in other country lyk tt. wat de fuck??? hate u guys la. i think i'm a failure. no one can be as a failure as me. wat stupid act i do was to go n open her drawer tt is full of her staff n took out our couple ring. n guess wat i do next. i intend to just have a look at it, but in de end??? i wore it back. n is on my finger rite now. wat de fuck is tis??? wat m i doing?? wat m i thinking??? y is my heart ach lyk fuck??? y must i stil miss her lyk dunno wat shit??? wat m i waiting for??? i wish to see her, but i dun dare to see her. tis feeling is suck mans. i hate u la~~~ do i always mean whn i said those awful words abt u??? does my heart pain whnever i said those words??? wat i inventually wants??? wat do i really wish to have??? hu is de one tt really live in my heart??? hu can just tel me or at least let me noe wat i wan n thinking??? haix~~~~ * tears rolling down lyk i'm gg to flood the whole alj. *
i dunno y i m feeling in tis manner. just have de feeling of tearing. i knew tt we wont last long. cos which gal dun wish to have a proper marriage? the way she treat me is so different....... everyone said that they wish to see her happy. but did anyone care abt my feelings and thought. is just lyk only she exist in tis world. but i dun. i dunno la. i m so confuess now. afternoon told her that maybe got a gal wanna jio me. guess wat she told me, thn you go happy hour wif her lor. she ask me enjoy. she say tis is cos of wat? so that whn guys wanna jio her, she can go happy wif him go enjoy wif him? haix. last time she wont lyk tt tok to me de lor. i just dunno y. i fell FUCKING TIRED!!!!! how i wish i can tel her what i m actually thinking and feeling. BUT I CUNT!!! yet she tel me i dun hide. but i just cunt tel u. i dunno la. KILL ME PLS!!!! HAIX. ):
i dunno y u need to tel my fren or anyone so detail abt ur staff. normally u wil just say tt oh i'm sick. haix. u told me tt u are having fever. yet u tel my fren tt u are having fever and sore throat. arghhhh i dunno la. i cunt say much nor tel u anything. i dun wan whn u sick tt time i stil add on to ur tong ku. i'm sry. i'm not an understanding person. stil got alot of thing u are hiding. n i dunno y. haix. sad sad.
haix. but i m just feeling DAMNNNNNNNNNN HURTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! too hurt to handle. i swear. haix. i dun dare to let her noe is simply just cos i scare tt she wil say ok lor since u are so un happy n so hurt thn we as well dun be together. haix. tis is y i wil post here. cos i really dun wish to let go. everyone around me is asking me to let go of her. but i just cunt do it. SAY IS EASY, BUT ONCE U REALLY DID IT, IS DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNN FUCKINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!! we were bck together le but she told me tt she wanna all her freedom she wan, she wanna add guys n noe alot of guys. but why??????? yesterday my fren just told me tis sentence, no point la. cos she will want play what. what if you give her the freedom that she wants and end up she run with other ppl. arghhhhhhhhhh......... NICE ONE MAN. i oso dunno how. she told me she wont cos of other's break up wif me, she wont fall for guys and all tis. but serious say is easy. hu dunno how to say??? correct not???? haix. i really feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO INSECUREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TO THE MAX AH. haix. i really hope tt our relationship can last long. i really hope lyk we were last time. ur cca got alot of guys. u can slowly make fren. just tt i wil feel damn hurt. i really dun wish u to make fren wif them.trust me, u wil fall for them one. haix. is our r/s really not working. i really dunno. i really hope it works. but i think u are sick n tired of me le ba. i dunno. u thold me tt ur fren said tt ur scl life is dead. last year u oso dun care abt wat they say. how come tis year u need bother abt wat they say???? just cos ur tao hua wil be very gd. alot of guys wil fall for u. and i noe u love those kind f feeling. feeling of being woo. but have u ever thought of my feelings???? if you really love me, u wil lyk last year. dun care abt wat others say n listen to me. i nv listen to any ex before. you are the first one. just cos i really love you deeply. not even lynn i listen. haix. i really dunno wat to do le. watever u wan i give u. all i can do is to keep silents lor. i cunt even say out anything. seriously. i really hope tt u wont be lyk tis. watever we are now, i dunno is couple or frens. we are lyk couple in one hand, but at another hand we are lyk frens... i dunno y must u let my feelings fade off. is not easy tolet my feelings fade u noe not. is really not easy. aft patch stil say wat if u stil insiste on breaking. haix. i dunno la. just feel lyk standing in the middle of high way and let those car bang me down one shot. n pls of cos is song ka la. i dun wan before i die oso must feel hurt. ouch...... my heart is hurting badly. haix..... why become lyk tt? haix.... we been so long we didnt tok on the phone, and yet she dun have the urge the hear my voice or cal me u noe??????????!!!!!!!!! means she dun even miss me. haix. GERRIE CHUA IS LOST AND DEAD. but how i wish i m really dead. anyone can make me die rite. i can grant ur wish. ( provied i really can do it one n is reasonable one) yuppp. haix shall say no more. if not ltr the more thing i say the more thing i wrong ah.
我真的很痛苦，为什么？？？？？！！！！
对不起，都是我的错！！！！
全不都是我的错。
* treas dropping non stop * ):
k now gerrie have alot of problem.
see hu can help me slove k?
my gf is havine a dream tt i n other gals being sweet n all, plus wake up wif fear n sometimes wif tears. wat should i do? i m really too lost 2 slove myself le.
haix~~~~
GERRIE IS FEELING FUCKING LOST NOW!
dunnno how helpo myself n my gf...
i totally cunt feel love at all. not even a single bit u noe? is lyk last time i use 2 b de only one. now? been share wif dunno how many ppl. she stil say tt she is being share wif alot of ppl whn she is not. mayb tt how she feel.... i dunno la. haix.
LOST LE!!!!
wat a bad day i had.
i shall say my story here.
sunday i didnt go work,i saidtt i m sick whn i m not.
i noe is my fault. aft tt they say they wanna MC.
i alr told them i dun have MC le.
they say they dun care, thn i oso dun care lor.
ah bo wat u wan me 2 react?
correct?
thn went 2 shop 2 work 2day.
SHE ask for my MC, whn i lr told her i dun have.
thn she said tt she wan cut my pay.
is lyk wat de fuck. thn had a BIG QUARREL wif her.
called my dad n ask him wat i should do.
my dad say they wan sack me jiu let them sack me, wan cut my pay jiu cut.
is lyk, not money matters leh. is i bu shuang tt they wanna cut my pay whn in the first place i dunno anything.
CORRECT?
ahya thn i dunno la.
i n her nearly fight, i noe theres no point doing tis.
but tts my temper.
u tok 2 me nicly i wil tok 2 u nicly, but if u shout at me, i sure shout bak at u de.
no matter wat post or hu u are.
thn she tok alot. thn i said.
no need tok so much, i ask u 1 last time u wan sack me isit?
thn she say no.
thn no need tok so much le wat. correct?
thn my fault again. thn she complain 2 HIM.
thn he ask me cal him, i dun wan. she say IS A MUST.
lyk wat de hell. u ask me cal jiu cal ah.
i oso not ur DOG. si i called my bro.
he ask me dun so angry first. ask me cool down first.
if i not wrong she was thining how coem i can tok 2 others nicely but not her.
is not i dun wan tok 2 her nicely, is.... haix k nvm. ):
hu can tel me wat i should do?
having everything lost, lost of sense n all.
how i wish lyk last time lyk tt.
whn i m lost or wat, my gf n my frens wil b there 2 guide me.
now? gf working, frens= NO MORE.
haix.... ); gerrie is lost. n loose everything.
was chatting wif lycia rite now.
my feeling is lyk i n her so long nv tok liao lor
thn some how miss those days tt me n them play n laugh n went out together n all.
how i wish tt we can just lyk last time, everytime go out together n slack, joke n had fun togehter.
yupp.
just simply hope me n them can get closer.
yupp.
haix.
just end here le bye si.
wish list:
5th month anni
couple tees
couple wallet
couple neckless
couple watch
couple cup
couple rings
couple phone
pants (long n short) (mummy buying 4 me)
polo tees (adidas)
cig case (wif my name on it)
zippo lighter(wif my name on it)
adidas jacket
adidas polo tees
adidas watch
half leg tattoo
more piercing
more time wif my little snail
she wil be more sweet towards her snail shell
have surprise on my actual bday.
laptop
new phone.
ipod (MP3)
new bags
they wil drink wif me on my bbq.
think tt all for it ba. if stil have thn shall post next time. yupps.dear just hope tt we can last REAL long. n pls dumb dumb can we just stop our quarrels n just b real SWEET. hope u can just lyk those normal gals be sweet n real nice towards me. n hope u can spent more time wif me. n lastly hope i m still as important as b4 or even more important..
DAR`LINKS
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en-lin
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ping ling
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kai ping
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sew long
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