always in my mind

Tuesday, April 27, 2010 7:46 PM

i dunno y i m feeling in tis manner. just have de feeling of tearing. i knew tt we wont last long. cos which gal dun wish to have a proper marriage? the way she treat me is so different....... everyone said that they wish to see her happy. but did anyone care abt my feelings and thought. is just lyk only she exist in tis world. but i dun. i dunno la. i m so confuess now. afternoon told her that maybe got a gal wanna jio me. guess wat she told me, thn you go happy hour wif her lor. she ask me enjoy. she say tis is cos of wat? so that whn guys wanna jio her, she can go happy wif him go enjoy wif him? haix. last time she wont lyk tt tok to me de lor. i just dunno y. i fell FUCKING TIRED!!!!! how i wish i can tel her what i m actually thinking and feeling. BUT I CUNT!!! yet she tel me i dun hide. but i just cunt tel u. i dunno la. KILL ME PLS!!!! HAIX. ):

ALL I LOVE IS YOU

Sunday, April 25, 2010 7:58 PM

i dunno y u need to tel my fren or anyone so detail abt ur staff. normally u wil just say tt oh i'm sick. haix. u told me tt u are having fever. yet u tel my fren tt u are having fever and sore throat. arghhhh i dunno la. i cunt say much nor tel u anything. i dun wan whn u sick tt time i stil add on to ur tong ku. i'm sry. i'm not an understanding person. stil got alot of thing u are hiding. n i dunno y. haix. sad sad.

ALL I LOVE IS YOU

5:35 PM

haix. but i m just feeling DAMNNNNNNNNNN HURTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! too hurt to handle. i swear. haix. i dun dare to let her noe is simply just cos i scare tt she wil say ok lor since u are so un happy n so hurt thn we as well dun be together. haix. tis is y i wil post here. cos i really dun wish to let go. everyone around me is asking me to let go of her. but i just cunt do it. SAY IS EASY, BUT ONCE U REALLY DID IT, IS DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNN FUCKINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!! we were bck together le but she told me tt she wanna all her freedom she wan, she wanna add guys n noe alot of guys. but why??????? yesterday my fren just told me tis sentence, no point la. cos she will want play what. what if you give her the freedom that she wants and end up she run with other ppl. arghhhhhhhhhh......... NICE ONE MAN. i oso dunno how. she told me she wont cos of other's break up wif me, she wont fall for guys and all tis. but serious say is easy. hu dunno how to say??? correct not???? haix. i really feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO INSECUREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TO THE MAX AH. haix. i really hope tt our relationship can last long. i really hope lyk we were last time. ur cca got alot of guys. u can slowly make fren. just tt i wil feel damn hurt. i really dun wish u to make fren wif them.trust me, u wil fall for them one. haix. is our r/s really not working. i really dunno. i really hope it works. but i think u are sick n tired of me le ba. i dunno. u thold me tt ur fren said tt ur scl life is dead. last year u oso dun care abt wat they say. how come tis year u need bother abt wat they say???? just cos ur tao hua wil be very gd. alot of guys wil fall for u. and i noe u love those kind f feeling. feeling of being woo. but have u ever thought of my feelings???? if you really love me, u wil lyk last year. dun care abt wat others say n listen to me. i nv listen to any ex before. you are the first one. just cos i really love you deeply. not even lynn i listen. haix. i really dunno wat to do le. watever u wan i give u. all i can do is to keep silents lor. i cunt even say out anything. seriously. i really hope tt u wont be lyk tis. watever we are now, i dunno is couple or frens. we are lyk couple in one hand, but at another hand we are lyk frens... i dunno y must u let my feelings fade off. is not easy tolet my feelings fade u noe not. is really not easy. aft patch stil say wat if u stil insiste on breaking. haix. i dunno la. just feel lyk standing in the middle of high way and let those car bang me down one shot. n pls of cos is song ka la. i dun wan before i die oso must feel hurt. ouch...... my heart is hurting badly. haix..... why become lyk tt? haix.... we been so long we didnt tok on the phone, and yet she dun have the urge the hear my voice or cal me u noe??????????!!!!!!!!! means she dun even miss me. haix. GERRIE CHUA IS LOST AND DEAD. but how i wish i m really dead. anyone can make me die rite. i can grant ur wish. ( provied i really can do it one n is reasonable one) yuppp. haix shall say no more. if not ltr the more thing i say the more thing i wrong ah.

我真的很痛苦，为什么？？？？？！！！！
对不起，都是我的错！！！！
全不都是我的错。
* treas dropping non stop * ):

ALL I LOVE IS YOU